My father is a quite man. He is conservative, reserved, soft-spoken and serious. He despises rap music, thinks P. Diddy is a thug and might still think that I after 5 years if marriage, am still a virgin (And there goes the pink elephant)! But, the day my dad heard me drop the “F” bomb was the day he finally saw me as normal.

I called my mom to rant and rave about another bad altercation I had with my sister-in-law.   My mom being the sly women she is, but her cell phone on speaker as I called my sister-in-law everything but a girl scout! I screamed and cursed and cried about how frustrated I was that my husband’s sister was the bane of existence. As I yelled, “I can’t f*cking stand her,” I heard my father interject with a loud gale of laughter. “How could you mommy,” I yelled at my mother (keep your friends close and your enemies closer)! I was furious, not because my mom betrayed my trust, but because I was no longer perfect in my daddy’s eyes.

I am my Dad’s perfect daughter. In his eyes I don’t get angry. I don’t drink, I don’t lie and I don’t curse. I guess I always wanted him to look at me as his little girl.

After I told my mom that I was hanging up because I was too livid to speak to here I received a text message from my dad.

“Honey, I never heard you curse before. That was really funny. It’s okay to get mad in front of me, I promise not to be judgmental. It’s just nice to know you’re not perfect, now I know you’re definitely my daughter! Love you, Dad.”

That was all I needed to know that in my dad’s eyes, I was still his definition of perfect – imperfect.

IDEA 1 – T.I.M. (THIS IS ME) MOVEMENT

One Sentence Pitch:
T.I.M. movement is an initiative for self-acceptance.

Elevator Pitch:
The concept of T.I.M. is to create a movement of self-love and self-acceptance. It is the idea of children accepting who they are, what they do and where they come from. The purpose of T.I.M. is to encourage children to be who they are no matter what their experiences, struggles or mistakes. T.I.M. movement is a campaign that will be promoted in schools to inspire kids to not be ashamed to shine and be themselves.

Promotional E-Newsletter:
Welcome to T.I.M! Our mission is to shout to the world “This Is Me!” Take it or leave it.

Everyday you’re faced with regret, insecurities and opposition. It’s difficult deal with those emotions but those things make you who you are. Don’t feel defeated by past mistakes, self doubt or challenges. Remember you are who you are and no one can take that away from you. T.I.M movement believes in you and you have to believe in yourself! So, the next time a friend laughs at you for not doing what everyone else is doing just tell them, “This Is Me.”

IDEA 2 – IFEELU.COM

One Sentence Pitch:
Connecting with the world through emotions.

Elevator Pitch:
IFeelU.com is a social networking site that connects people by the way they are feeling. The concept of IFeelU.com is a site that allows people to interact with people who can relate or counteract how they feel. The site will work by members creating a profile that will log their emotions. Each time a member logs on to IFeelU.com they will be prompted to select from a list of emotions how they feel. This list will consist of emotions such as sad, happy, angry, hurt, embarrassed, determined, inspired and helpful. Once an emotion is selected the site will ask you if you want to see those who “relate” to how you feel or those who can “change” who you feel.

A list of members who will be able to relate or help combat how you feel will then appear. If someone is feeling angry, a list of people who feel calm or angry will appear. If a person feels sad, a list of people who are sad or happy will appear. The purpose of IFeelU.com is to create an outlet for emotions. A place where people can go so they don’t feel alone.

Promotional Release:
IFeelU.com is the ultimate social network. IFeelU.com allows you to meet and interactive with people all over the world who are sharing the same emotion as you are at any given time.

Just logon to IFeelU.com and chose your emotion to reveal thousands of people who are feeling the exact same way. You are not alone. There is someone out there who knows how you feel.

Signup to IFeelU.com today. Someone does Feel You.

My blogs are my truth. They are a glimpse into the life of a person who has no desire for an online presence. I have no interest in being Perez Hilton or Rumi Neely.  But, I want my personal blogs to represent my pseudonym’s online presence.

My blogs aren’t blogs to me. They are just stories of my experiences that become blogs when I click “publish.” My blogs are bits and pieces of my lifeline. They divulge my journey, my goals, my thoughts and my frustrations. My blogs are my journal.

I use a pseudonym because it allows be to me without being me. It allows me to make fun my friends and family without worrying about offending them. I can expose my flaws and insecurities as my pseudonym and not be embarrassed as me. My pseudonym saves me from the embarrassment and vulnerability that comes from my life stories. I’m not embarrassed of the professional me. There is no need to create a pseudonym for my professional self. The professional me is the side I want the world to see; C.R, the student, the business woman, the music aficionado, the artist, the marketer. But, C.R the wife who’s too busy to have dinner with her husband, the granddaughter who doesn’t spend enough time with her grandma and the woman who always struggles with her weight needs the refuge of a pseudonym.

According to Wikipedia, pseudonyms are often used to hide an individual’s real identity. My blogs are my identity which means my pseudonym has become a contradiction. But, Kalm said it best, “You can only write what you know.” And if being able to write what I know means distributing it as someone else, so be it. “Do what you will, this world’s a fiction and is made up of contradiction.” William Blake

Although a contradiction, my pseudonym is only that to me because only I know my truth. My readers will know my pseudonym and its stories as truth. I want my pseudonym to be relatable. I want for readers of my blog to laugh, cry, learn and become inspired. I want to William Zinsser to be right; “They’ll care if you tell them something interesting.” I can only hope that my “somethings” are interesting.

I think my blogs are interesting. I think readers will enjoy “I’m A Work in Progress” and the lessons I am still learning about marriage and my “I” syndrome. I know that someone will relate to “The Root of Ambition.” I want people to smile when they read about my thought that motherhood makes women less cool in “Me + Baby = Fail” and laugh at “Welcome to the Family.” I know that my blogs can accomplish all those things.

My blogs are my truth and I want them to represent my pseudonym’s online presence. I will do so by first creating social networks for my pseudonym. Social networks, Facebook and Twitter will be the main source of distribution for my blog. I will post links to the Facebook and Twitter pages frequently and I plan to integrate images in my blog to make them more appealing. One of the most important aspects of creating an online presence for my pseudonym is being searchable. I will create a Wikipedia page for my blog so all who search my blog by title will find a summary of my pseudonym. E-mail is still the number one form of reaching the network society. I will setup my content management system to send e-mails reminders every time I post a new blog. Lastly, I plan to setup separate blog for my pseudonym. Now that I have learned and had time to think about my professional self and my pseudonym, I want each to be independent.

I can only hope that my plan to present my online presence is tactical enough to gain readers, that my blogs are interesting enough to keep readers and that I am not writing for an audience of one.

Marriage is a beautiful thing. Although it comes with a lot of baggage, finding that one person who you can tolerate for the rest of your life is definitely something special. When you marry someone you love them regardless of their flaws, their bad habits and their shortcomings. You take their past experiences, their future goals and their present bullshit. You even take their snoring, their inability to put the toilet seat down (or up) and their bad cooking. Most importantly when you marry someone you have to take their family.

In-laws is one of the many aspects of marriage I was afraid of. I was always terrified that the mother of the man I married would be like Marie from Everybody Loves Raymond. I dreaded having in-laws who sang show tunes or who had questionable religious practices.

Luckily for me when I married I didn’t get the cast of the Chorus Line or devil worshipers. Instead I married into a family of Scrabble players who kissed all the time. A family that was okay with vulgarity (within reason) and shared humiliating stories of their life with each other. The kissing thing definitely took some getting used to. I never met people who kiss each other each and every time they met and depart. I was never much of a Scrabble player, so I felt out of place when my sister-in-law broke out the “deluxe” Scrabble board for a night of wine and arguments about the legitimacy of words. I never understood the ability of my in-laws to curse at each other but still make it a priority to call one another on holidays. For years I tried to avoid my husband’s family functions because I thought I would be the odd man out. I hated being the only one who could not speak their language or relate to their many Haitianisims.

It wasn’t until I had a few of my in-laws over to my home did I realize that I have slowly become one of them! I greeted everyone with a kiss as they came through my door, I responded to their questions asked in French and I even bragged about my new board game!

The idea of gaining a new family with marriage can be unnerving, especially since dealing with one’s own family can be difficult. But, my in-laws have thought me many new things, which is what families are supposed to do. I appreciate my in-laws and I love them for making me one of their own.

With the purchase of a home and turning 27-years-old this year, I can’t help but feel like I’m quickly aging. I have managed to stay hip (so I hope!) by wearing Uggs and hoop earrings; however the essence of an old married woman still lives inside me. Despite the fact that many always tell me I’m still young, I always have this feeling of being too old for things like cell phone ring tones, going to the mall just for fun and wearing athletic shoes when I’m not working out (which never seems to happen so…).

I know what you’re thinking, 27 is not old! But as a 27-year-old woman who is married, hates her job and has had more surgeries than Joan Rivers, I think its only right that I tack on another 10 years, hell I’ve earned it! But, after heavy evaluation of my pre-mid-life-crisis I have concluded that my marriage has aged me.

My husband and I do things that married people do, go to the movies, argue about finances and share odd details of our bodily functions. We no longer party with our single friends or take random trips. Some might say if I feel this way maybe I shouldn’t be married, but if being married means being a 27-year-old lady with my best friend then I am looking forward to old age because nothing is better than knowing no matter how old I get, my husband will always love me and he will always be 2 years older than I am!

Four in every five Americans begin having sexual intercourse before age 20. Having a 16-year-old and 18-year-old sister, that statistic scares me.  Unaware of the consequences, teenagers willingly engage in sexual intercourse, which is why American teenagers should have access to sex education classes, contraceptive and family planning services.

Sex between teenagers comes from their own curiosity.  It also comes from pressures by others and the lack of communication between teenagers and their parents.  The lack of communication is important for teenagers to understand the seriousness sex.  Teenagers don’t learn that sex should be something that they share with someone they love.  “Sex is not meant for entertainment, but for reproduction and expression of love” (Zane 82).  Due to this ignorance teens are likely to follow their peers.  Teenagers tend to disregard the consequences of having sex just for the experience and the pleasure.  Things like sexually transmitted infections and diseases and early pregnancy are some of the risks that teenagers are taking when they have sex. “Each year, one million American teenagers become pregnant and 85% of theses pregnancies are unintended.”

The percentage of teenage pregnancy in America continues to grow.  The Netherlands have the same teenage sexual activity rate as America but it has more facilities for sex education, which explains why their teen pregnancy rates are 1/9 those of the U.S. pregnancy rates. Sex education services are needed in the U.S.

Jay Smith said having those services would have helped her during her teenager years. Jay said she wanted to talk to someone about pregnancy.  Jay was a great student.  She went to school, got good grades and was perfect in her parent’s eyes.  She always thought she wouldn’t have sex until she was married.  But when she was 16 she dated a boy who pressured her to have sex.  During her senior year of high school she found out that she was pregnant with his baby.  She didn’t know what to do or who to tell.  On July 27, 2010 she gave birth to a baby boy, Jack.  She loved him with all her heart.  Now at 9 years old Jack is a hand full.  I looked at Jay as she chased Jack around the room.  She is tired and stressed. “I love Jack, but I regret not waiting, don’t get me wrong I don’t regret him, just my choices. I thought about abortion, but that was not an option for me.”

“Restrictive abortion laws may worsen family communication rather than promote it.” I have friends that have experienced pregnancy and abortion all of whom say the process is physically emotionally, mentally and socially straining. “Of teenage women who become pregnant, about 35% chose to have an abortion rather than bear a child,” a statistic that continues to increase. I also believe that more facilities and organizations should be formed to increase the education on sex, contraception, pregnancy, abortion and STD’s, etc.  This will help in the control and understanding of sexual activity among teenagers.

Works Cited

• Smith, J.  Personal Interview. 3 July 2010.
• Willke, Dr. & Mrs. Why Can’t We Love Them Both?  Heritage House 76, Inc.  1996.
• Zane. Shame On It All. New York: Brooklyn. 1999
• Gilbert, Marsha.  “Abortion, Why, Why Not”.  Ebony. December 2002:73
• Prochoice. http://www.prochoice.org/Facts/Factsheet/FS9.htm
• Planned Parenthood. http://www.plannedparenthood.org/
• Sex, etc. http://www.sexetc.org/

“When are you having a baby,” seems to be the million dollar question these days. My husband and I have been together for 9 years and married for 5. We own a home, have a dog and enjoy each other’s company. From the outside looking in our life seems perfect to some. “Don’t you guys want to complete your family by having a baby?” Ah…NO! If I have a baby I will lose my cool!

I’ve been around little kids my entire life; my sisters when they were babies, my cousins and now my niece. I love them all, they are cute and fun and charming, but they are a handful and contribute to the downfall of everyone’s “cool” status.

Kay, my best friend’s daughter just turned 2. She’s adorable and I love spending time with her. But, sometimes I want to spend time with my friend without Kay. My friend can no longer do the things she used to. No more girls-night-out, no more late night coffee runs, no more last minute plans, everything now revolves around Kay! How dreadful! I can’t imagine not being able to enjoy the things I once did because of a baby.

My niece has the sweetest face I’ve every seen. I love her laugh and she is the smartest 3-year-old I’ve ever known. But when she comes to visit, she eats watermelon and wipes her hands on my beige sofa! My sister-in-law; a woman I always wanted to be like because she would just pick up and travel to places like Paris and St. Thomas, now travels to Chucky-Cheese and Sesame Place. Instead of watching Grey Anatomy, she sits through hours of Yo Gabba Gabba (insert scream here). Worst of all my sister-in-law wants to buy a Toyota Sienna aka the “Swagger Wagon” which I recently learned is the Rolls Royce of mini-vans. Her cool stock just continues to plummet.

I’m terrified of my cool point decline. I’m afraid that if I have a baby I will no longer be Reece, I will be ___________’s mommy. Friends and family will no longer ask how I’m doing or what’s new at work. Instead they will ask, “How is little ___________. How old is he now?” Dinner dates with my husband at El Rio Grande will turn into family nights at Applebee’s. My Michael Kors will be replaced by a Graco diaper bag.

No, I don’t want to complete my family by having a baby. I’d rather hold on to my cool and like the old days have my age be the demise of it.

1. Be accountable. The only person to blame is you. When you reach a certain age all the decisions you make or circumstances you are in, good or bad are is your fault. There is no room for pointing the finger at any age. Adults own their decisions. So, accept your choices and move on or else you’ll live a life full of regrets and resentment.

2. Learn how to forgive. Shit happens! Don’t dwell on all the things that have happened to you. Life is too short to hold on to all the bad things everyone has done to you. Forgiveness is for you. Leave that luggage at the door! Just let it go and move on!

3. Know your worth. If a person truly loves you and wants to be with you they will commit. There are no if, ands or buts about it! No person is too busy, career driven or emotionally unavailable for a someone they love. If a person loves you they will show you! If they say,” I love you, but…,” they don’t. So find someone who does.

4. Stay clean and groomed. Good hygiene and grooming goes a long way. This may be hard to believe but not all people know this. Maintaining a clean and manicured body is imperative! You should always take pride in our cleanliness and appearance.

5. Take care of yourself. There is nothing more important than your health. Make an effort to eat well, exercise and visit your doctor and dentist once or twice a year. Every grownup knows the mind and spirit are as good as the body. So if you’re not taking care of your physical health, you’re mental and emotion health will surely suffer.

6. Be generous. It’s better to give than receive. You are not in high school anymore. You are too old to have your hand out. Real grownups spoil the ones they love. Treat your best friend to their favorite album or take your parents to dinner. Spot a colleague for lunch. Giving is a two way street, make someone else feel good and you’ll feel good doing it. Adults are givers not loafers.

7. Learn.  Knowledge is power. A grownup knows that you never stop learning. Read books, surf the net, attend fundraisers and subscribe to the NY Times. Watching American Idol and Dancing with the Stars is fine, but try to squeeze in CNN and the History channel. Challenge your mind so you’re always in the know.

8. Finally, don’t compromise. Integrity is scarce. We all have values, ethics and beliefs that we live by. Sometimes those beliefs are asked to be compromised by our friends, boss and even our mate. A true grownup holds their ground and stands strong. Don’t let anyone infiltrate the morale, which you’ve built.

I never imaged that I would get emotional when my sister graduated high school. I remember the day she was born. It was April 6^th 1992 and I was super excited for her arrival. Since that day when she entered the world I only wanted to take care of her. She saved my life and I would do the same for her. I love my sister like a mother loves her child.

I still remember my sister as a toddler. She called me “Sha” because she was too young to pronounce my name or the word sister so for her my name became Sha. I was her mother when our mother was not in sight. I feed red apples which she insisted I had to peel because she didn’t like the red skin. I bathed her and she would always say “Sha, wass my hair,” and I did. I was only 9 when she was born, but I comforted her because she was my best friend. I would watch Barney and Power Rangers with her. I read her “Snow White” so many times she knew the names of all the characters by heart.

As a young teenage my sister looked up to me. She wanted the clothes I had. She listened to the music I liked and she watched the shows I watched. My family and friends coined my “Mini-Me.” At night she would sneak into my room and I would find her fast asleep on my bed.

Now at 18-years-old I am more involved in her life than ever. I lecture her on texting and driving. I insist on meeting all her boyfriends and dates. I borrow her jewelry and she steals all my handbags. I share with her my life stories and she listens with admiration and respect, just as a daughter would to a mother.

My sister is graduating high school. She no longer calls me “Sha” but she is still my best friend.